Is Poison The Cure?
by McJinx64
Summary: Red nearly died by poison? Is Dembé really a traitor and did he poison Red? And what is the secret Elizabeth is hiding from Red? I wrote this story so we would have something to read during the hiatus of The Blacklist.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Jon Bokenkamp & NBC; all rights reserved . This fanfic is a work of fiction. It details my own imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental._

 **Chapter 1**

 _Did you drink Scotch?_

I did. But there were only two people who had access to the bottle…and I am one of them.

 _Who was the other?_

No, it can't be.

 _Reddington, talk to me. Who poisoned you?_

That can't be…

The phone fell from Red's ear to his lap and he felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. Had Dembé, with retrospect to recent events, turned traitor? Red couldn't believe it but what other explanation could there be?

'Raymond, are you OK? You're suddenly white as a sheet'.

Red slowly turned to see Marvin still standing in his living room. Shivers racked through his body and he could neither speak nor move.

'Raymond? What did they say?' Marvin insisted.

'Marvin…please leave...I need some—time—alone,' Red said, teeth clenched. It took all his will to force the words out but Marvin nodded. Before stepping out, Marvin turned around. 'Just to be clear…I would never betray you Red. Not after everything you've done for Becky and me.'

Red nodded and silently waved his hand.

Reddington's apartment at Bethesda was in darkness when Lizzy pulled up to the curb, and for a moment she was worried Reddington was not there. She got out of her car, walked inside and to her relief one of his main guards, who was standing outside his front door, let her in. Inside, Lizzy stepped forward and reached around the door frame, feeling along the wall for a light switch. As her fingers found it she pressed it in. Light flooded the living room in which a window was still open, the curtains fluttering with the wind.

'Red?'

'Dembé?'

No response.

Walking around, Lizzy suddenly glimpsed Red through the open bedroom door. He lay sprawled on top of his big double bed, fully clothed but out cold. He lay uncovered, one arm flung over his face. Lizzy tiptoed quietly into the room, grabbed a duvet from the wardrobe and placed it over his body, then stood for a moment, watching him in slumber. Red groaned in his sleep and turned over. Carefully, Lizzy touched his shoulder, the skin beneath his shirt surprisingly warm given the chilly bedroom.

'You'll be fine…just sleep it off, she said softly. Red's shoulder visibly relaxed, settling more deeply into sleep and to her confusion, Lizzy suddenly had to fight the urge to crawl next to him and hold him. Red had looked so vulnerable today and she'd never seen him vulnerable before. When her cell phone suddenly buzzed, Lizzy groaned annoyingly; knowing it was the nanny. Lizzy had promised her to be home in time because the nanny wanted to get away for the weekend. Lizzy hated leaving Reddington after the ordeal he'd went through but realized Agnes needed her more right now, and her daughter's wellbeing always came first.

The following Monday, Lizzy was the last one to arrive at the Post Office. She had tried to contact Reddington several times during the weekend but without success. This morning, she had tried to get in touch with him as soon as she got up, then on her way to the shower, and then once more before she even had time to dry her hair but there had been no answer. As she went into her office, Aram noticed the worried frown on her face.

'Is everything alright Liz?' he asked with a friendly smile.

Lizzy shook her head, 'I can't get in touch with Reddington. I haven't heard from him all weekend. I'm worried.'

Aram stepped inside and sat down across from Lizzy. 'Have you tried calling Dembé?'

Lizzy nodded and hugged her waist. 'Well, that is one other thing that bothers me. Dembé wasn't there last Friday and when I tried to call him today, his phone seems to be out of order.'

Lizzy looked at Aram for what seemed to be a long time before she asked, 'Do you think there's a chance the poison did its work after all?'

'No, stop thinking like that,' Aram replied. 'Just because you can't reach Mr. Reddington, does not mean he's dead. There can be all sorts of explanations why you haven't heard from him. Let's not start jumping to conclusions.'

'Then why hasn't he been in contact?' Lizzy replied with some heat, immediately regretting her outburst.

'What's going on in here?' Cooper asked as he stepped into Liz' office. Aram took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 'Agent Keen thinks there might be something wrong with Mr. Reddington. She hasn't heard from him all weekend.'

Harold Cooper glanced at Lizzy,' When did you last speak to him?'

Lizzy was quiet for a moment but when she spoke, she sounded calmer. 'Last Friday. I checked up on him before going home.' Her voice wobbled slightly and she swallowed before continuing. 'He was asleep but he was OK. What if something happened to him during the weekend? He was all by himself. The Doc said he was not sure how much damage, the poison did. What if he choked?' Lizzy halted and swallowed hard, 'Is it OK if I check up on him?' she asked.

'Sure.' Cooper nodded reassuringly. 'But if something is out of the ordinary, call for back-up immediately.'

'I will!'

'Do you want Samar to go with you?' Cooper asked.

Lizzy shook her head, 'No, I'll be fine….be back in an hour!'

Lizzy's heart was pounding in her throat as she knocked on Reddington's apartment door. No answer.

'Baz is he in?' she asked.

The tall guard hunched his shoulders. 'He must be. I've heard him stumbling around.'

'Could you please open the door for me?'

Baz nodded and let her into Reddington's apartment. She frowned when she spotted him; Red looked a mess. He was unshaved, had dark bags under his eyes and looked as if he hadn't slept or showered in days. He was wearing a pair of dress pants and a white undershirt which was wrinkled and not something, he would usually wear. His eyes seemed to be staring straight through her and she held her breath for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke. 'Why are you here Elizabeth?'

'I wanted to make sure you were alright. I tried to call you…several times,' she said softly. She had never seen Red like this before and it worried her, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

Reddington chuckled sarcastically, 'Why? Everyone else has betrayed me, abandoned me, or left me. Come to think of it…,' he continued without mercy. 'You've started this…when you faked your death. Kate paid the price for that little scheme and since Dembé couldn't forgive me for that, he felt the need to poison—'. Red began his accusations infuriating but trailed off to nothing, clearly unable to say the words he was thinking. Invisible pincers squeezed his throat and the muscles in his jaw, tensed to the point of pain. That was when his cracked lips began to quiver.

Lizzy's head shot up and she stared at him in amazement. Red's voice was barely recognisable completely wrecked with bitterness. This man was so different from the man she knew.

'Red, I'm so sorry,' Lizzy said after several minutes. 'I never meant to hurt you.' A tear rolled down her cheek. Red looked up and swore but pulled out a clean, white handkerchief handing it to her. Their fingertips touched briefly as she took the cloth from him, touching off a flash of memories; what she and Red had shared that one night had been beautiful and Lizzy held on to that memory as if it were a lifeline. She would never forget the way; Red had looked at her when they had made love. She knew they had crossed a line when they slept together on that ship but Red had never mentioned it again and when Lizzy had told him she was pregnant; he'd assumed the baby was Tom's. She'd never had the courage to tell him that Agnes was actually his.

'I want you to leave,' Red said in a quiet voice.

'Red—'

'Please GO.' Lizzy's heart twisted inside her as she met Red's angry gaze. Maybe in time, he could forgive her, accept what had brought her to faking her death, but not right now. Red's features were hard and impassive as he stared at Lizzy and once more his blue/grey eyes reminded her of their shared night. But the emotions she saw now were grim and disturbing. While his stoic expression revealed nothing, his gaze reflected a dark emotion Lizzy couldn't quite decipher.

'LEAVE.' Red called out in a hoarse voice.

The door opened and Lizzy turned her head to see Baz standing in the doorway. Lizzy stepped away from Red and closed her eyes, too tired to argue with him. She cleared her throat.

'You'll have to talk to someone eventually.' Lizzy's voice was quiet yet firm. 'You know where to find me.'

' _Dembé'_.

' _Dembé Zuma_. He is a Muslim freedom fighter from South Sudan and Reddington's bodyguard, driver and confidante. He's missing.' Lizzy said firmly while a picture of Dembé appeared on screen, back at the Post Office.

'We don't know much about the guy…do we?' Ressler said while he pointed at the screen. 'He hardly speaks.'

'Red once told me that he saved Dembé at the age of 14 from the world of human trafficking. He'd found him half-dead in the basement of a brothel in Nairobi. Reddington took him in, nursed him back to health and made sure he got an education, and that is why—, 'Lizzy swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the sudden lump in her throat, '—I have a hard time believing that it was Dembé who poisoned Reddington.'

' _What_?' The team gazed at Lizzy in amazement.

'Reddington told me it was Dembé who'd poisoned him!'

Ressler chuckled sarcastically. 'So much for loyalty.'

'I'm afraid, there's more,' Lizzy said softly while staring at the floor. 'A few weeks ago, Dembé came to see me. He told me he was worried about Red. He was unable to reach him and he only seemed to care about me…and Agnes.' Lizzy halted.

'What else?' Cooper asked impatiently.

'Apparently, Reddington killed Mr. Kaplan because she helped to fake my death.' Lizzy finally said.

'Nah. This doesn't make sense,' Ressler said while he kept staring at Dembé's picture on the screen.

'What do you mean?' Samar asked.

'If he tried to poison Reddington than why gather a medical team? He could have just let him die.'

Lizzy felt nauseous at hearing those cold words but nodded, 'You're right. There must be another explanation why Dembé is on the run.'

Cooper cleared his throat, 'Okay, let's get Reddington in here. He is the only one who knows where we can find Mr. Zuma. Elisabeth, persuade him to come in. Reddington is our biggest asset. This just can't go all to waste. '

Lizzy hesitated. She knew Red would refuse. Suddenly she wished she could flee too. Summoning up courage, she walked back to her office to retrieve her gun from the cabinet. She then looked at her reflection and took a few deep breaths. _This is it, Lizzy. Moment of truth_ , she thought to herself while studying her gun and placing it in its holster. When she turned around, she found Ressler in the door opening, watching her.

'You okay?' He asked. 'You sounded a bit funny.'

'I'm fine,' Liz said but she could barely get the words out. She then sighed deeply, 'It's just…I don't know how I can convince _him_ to come in. He was really upset when I spoke to him this morning.'

'Liz,' Ressler said slowly, '…why don't you start by telling him the truth?'

'Huh, what?' Lizzy asked nervously licking her lips, and then she frowned. 'What do you mean? The truth about…what?'

Ressler softly chuckled. 'Come on Liz. I've seen Agnes. There's no way in hell, Tom Keen is that baby's father.'

Lizzy clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream and for a moment she felt as though she was going to faint. She quickly stepped in front of Ressler and said, 'You can't tell anyone. I need to keep my daughter safe. If they ever find out Agnes is Reddington's—.' Lizzy shook her head and quickly wiped away a tear, finding its way down her cheek. She sniffed. 'Please Ressler?'

Donald raised his eyebrows, 'Liz, I'm here because you can trust me. I would never—.' Ressler sighed deeply and sat down, 'Please, sit down; I have to tell you something.'

Leaning back in her car seat, Lizzy's thoughts painfully drifted to Ressler. His girlfriend Audrey Bidwell had been pregnant when Wujing killed her. Ressler had found out afterwards. He'd told her, he had been devastated by Audrey's death but what had made things worse was that she had not told him, she was carrying his baby. Lizzy's eyes closed tightly, her mind swirling through a storm of questions; _Do I tell Reddington? How will he react? What about Tom? Will Agnes ever still be safe?_ By the time, Lizzy reached Reddington's apartment, she still wasn't sure what to do.

Reddington's main guard, Baz was sitting outside his door. Lizzy sighed inwardly, foreseeing he would have orders not to let her in.

'Baz…I have to see him!'

'I'm sorry Miss Keen but can't let you in'. Lizzy grimaced but noticed there was no hostility in Baz' eyes as he looked down on her.

She tried again, 'It's really important that I speak to him!'

The guard clenched his jaw but a small smile curved his lips, 'Whatever…I have to go take a leak and when I return, you're gone okay?'

Lizzy nodded. 'Thanks Baz'.

Lizzy found Reddington in the kitchen and it was apparent that his state of mind hadn't changed. He was still unshaved, wearing the same dress pants and the white wrinkled T-shirt.

When he spotted her, he breathed an angry sigh. 'Isn't there anyone I can trust around here?'

Lizzy's stomach churned but she played it off, 'I need to talk to you.'

'Can't you take no for an answer,' Red said bitterly.

'Red, please…it's important!' Lizzy mentally prepared herself, to be sent on her feet but to her surprise Red sat down opposite her.

'What?'

'We don't think Dembé poisoned you. It's not logical. Why would he poison you and then drive you to a safe house for medical attention?'

Red hunched his shoulders, 'I don't know Elizabeth. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm tired. I've lived my entire adult life surrounded by…a corona of death. Now, I'm at the point in my life, I'm really longing for it. I have nothing to life for.'

'You mustn't talk like that.' Lizzy said softly, feeling guilty. Her deceit was one of the underlying causes why Red was so depressed.

'Red—'Lizzy reached forward and placed her hand on his arm.

'For God sakes, Elizabeth stop trying so hard.' Red was breathing heavily, 'There's no—'Red stopped abruptly.

'What?' Lizzy asked breathlessly.

Red gritted his teeth as he tried to remember. Frowning, he lifted his hand, massaging his suddenly throbbing temple, '…Now, I remember…that bottle of Scotch was a gift but from whom?'

'Red, this could be something major. Maybe Dembé went after the person who gave you that bottle of Scotch!'

Lowering his head, Red seemed to be contemplating his choices but after what seemed an eternity, he finally looked up. 'If you don't mind, I'd like to shave and take a shower first.'

Trying to keep her excitement in check, Lizzy nodded but in the meanwhile, her heart jumped for joy in her chest.

Red rose from his chair and stretched, 'I'm a bit hungry. I haven't eaten since Friday.'

'Would you like me to make you a sandwich while you shower?' Lizzy hurried to say.

'Sounds good,' Red softly said, before turning on his heel.

Lizzy stared after him, surprised. Half an hour later, she heard the shower go on but suddenly, Red let out a holler. It abruptly ended with a loud crash.

Lizzy raced down the hallway, heart pounding in her chest. 'RED, are you okay?' she called through the door.

He groaned.

'Red, answer me. Are you okay?'

'Yes. No. I don't know.' Red groaned again, the sound easily carrying over the running water.

Lizzy twisted the doorknob. 'Can I come in?'

When Red grunted in answer, Lizzy took in a deep breath and swung the door open. Steam billowed to meet her. She took a hard swallow, and then started toward the shower. Reaching in behind the shower curtain, she managed to turn the water off, trying very hard not to notice Red's bare feet and long expanse of bare leg. She forced her eyes to stay below his knees. In the meantime, her heart pounded loudly. Heat filled her cheeks and that had absolutely nothing to do with the warm humidity of the bathroom.

'Can you get me a towel?' Red growled.

Lizzy grabbed a towel and hesitantly approached the shower again, 'Do you need help?'

'No…it was just a dizzy spell. It happened before…must be the after effects from the poison.'

Lizzy started to slide the shower curtain back but stopped when Red's bare waist came into view. Her heart galloped wildly, her pulse racing with it. Thick, blonde, curly hair covered his chest and beads of water collected at the base of his throat. Lizzy forced her eyes to Red's face and hoped she wasn't as red as she felt.

'Thanks.' He said while he held his hand out for the towel.

Lizzy averted her gaze and Red smiled. 'You have seen a naked man before?' His words sounded dry.

Lizzy cleared her throat, 'Er…ofcourse.'

Red suddenly swayed so Lizzy quickly grabbed his wet shoulder, feeling the strength of muscles and smooth hot skin. Red struggled to stay upright, holding the towel in place across his hips. Lizzy supported Red's weight the best she could without touching too much of his bare skin; an impossible task. She felt how a rush of feelings slammed through her, hard and fast. She grabbed Red harder, dragging him from the shower and praying that his towel would stay in place. Though it was a large towel, it hid very little of Red.

In the bedroom, she let go of him. 'Can you manage?'

Red smiled amusingly, 'I think I can. Thanks for your help Lizzy.'

She closed her eyes. He finally called her Lizzy again. She smiled and turned, 'I'll wait for you in the living room.'

'I'll be right out.'

Sitting down, the memory of Red's naked body sprang into Lizzy's mind. Closing her eyes, she softly moaned as she remembered Red's broad, naked chest. She squeezed her eyes tighter, willing the image to go away but she knew she would never be able to block him from her memories. The only question that played through her mind was; _do I tell him about Agnes_?

7


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Jon Bokenkamp & NBC; all rights reserved . This fanfic is a work of fiction. It details my own imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental._

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _ **Light, warmth and the smell of baking emanated from his kitchen. His wife's voice rang out, drifting through the open window, followed by his daughter's cheerful laughter. It was like a scene from a movie, Red thought. Daddy comes home to the happy wife and family, and all ends well. But it was an illusion. A family was something; Red had long since accepted he would never have.** _

* * *

When Red got home after his meeting at the Post Office, he shrugged out of his jacket, rolled up the sleeves of his crisp white cotton shirt and loosened his tie, flexing the tired muscles in his shoulders. A few minutes later there was a brief knock at his front door and he inwardly groaned. He wasn't in the mood for visitors, not after the marathon meeting regarding Dembé's disappearance, he'd just attended.

'Lizzy?' I wasn't expecting you.'

Elizabeth fought the urge to run but stubbornly lifted her chin and said, 'May I come in. We need to talk about something.'

'And that something is so urgent you couldn't have told me at the Post Office?' Red said while he frowned.

Lizzy shook her head, 'No, it's personal!'

Red's eyes grew hooded and he peered at Lizzy for a long moment. Then he swung the door wide open and turned around. 'Be my guest.'

Lizzy entered and sat down on the couch, perching on the edge, while Red made his way to the brown leather recliner across from her.

'Can I get you anything…a glass of wine maybe?' Red asked politely. 'I have this delicious red wine from Africa with an intense aroma of red berries, accompanied by a hint of vanilla and chocolate!'

'I'm good, thanks,' Lizzy said with a nervous smile and apologetic shrug. 'I still have to drive, so...'

Red leaned back in his leather recliner, crossing his arms over his broad chest, studying Lizzy with a piercing gaze. She worked to keep her breathing calm but felt slightly intimidated by his intent gaze.

'It wouldn't hurt to indulge every once in a while,' he told her.

'If I'm going to indulge on anything, it would rather be on chocolate instead of wine,' she replied.

'What is it with women and their chocolate?' A grin transformed Red's face, causing warmth to spread through Elizabeth, settling deep into her stomach. Maybe telling Red, wouldn't be as bad as she feared.

'So…what is so urgent you couldn't tell me at the Post office? Has it something to do with Dembé?'

Lizzy suddenly felt tears rising within her eyes as she slowly shook her head, 'No, I wanna tell you the real reason why I faked my death.'

'That was obvious…you wanted to get away from me,' Red said decisively.

'Yes…no,' Lizzy hurried to say. 'I wasn't necessarily trying to get away from you.' she swallowed hard. 'I did it to protect Agnes.'

'From me?' Red said surprised at Lizzy's remark. 'Why? I would never hurt a baby.'

Lizzy shook her head. 'No…I know that you would never—'Her voice broke, and she bent her head down stiffly, fighting against oncoming tears.

'Lizzy?'

She felt the tension growing. 'When I told you I was pregnant, you said you knew and…'

When her words trailed off, Red lifted a brow. 'And what?'

'You assumed the baby was Tom's.'

Red stared at Elizabeth for a long moment without saying anything but she saw the confusion building in his gaze.

'What are you trying to tell me, Lizzy?' Red finally said with a degree of steel in his voice that had her nervously shifting. 'There was no reason for me to assume the baby was someone else's.'

Lizzy gasped indignantly. 'You can't possibly have forgotten about the chemistry between us after you told me I was your North Star…I was your way home! Remember that first night on the ship? We've made love all night long? I made you moan and—'

'Enough!' Red's eyebrows scrunched together and he seemed genuinely confused. He raised his head and looked at Lizzy so bleakly, it shocked her. Then he shook his head helplessly. 'I don't know what to tell you Lizzy. I don't remember. I must have blocked it out of my memory.' With a deep, pained sigh, Red let his head crash back against the leather recliner, shutting his eyes. He could feel his heart furiously pounding in his chest. _What was he? Was he a monster? No wonder, Lizzy had pulled away from him. How could he have forgotten he made love to her?_ Red wondered why his mind insisted on blocking that specific memory.

Lizzy watched how a single tear slid down Red's pale face. When he opened his eyes he looked directly at her. She swallowed when she saw the pain in his gaze.

'Agnes is mine?' Red whispered.

Lizzy nodded.

'Oh, God, forgive me!' Red brought out, covering his mouth.

'Tom knows, Agnes isn't his,' Lizzy said quickly. 'At first he tried to make me have an abortion but I told him I would tell you. After that, we started making plans to fake my death…not to get away from you but—.'

'…to protect Agnes, 'Red finished Lizzy's sentence. 'Because she would never be safe if one of my enemies found out she was mine.'

A soft baby's wail suddenly startled both of them and Lizzy jumped to her feet. Red didn't understand. Surely that wasn't…no…she hadn't…

Red stared at the closed front door as the sound filtered through his brain and he understood that Agnes was in the hallway. Lizzy opened the door and the sound didn't stop until he heard her talking to the baby.

 _Agnes…_

As Red stood in the doorway, he watched as Lizzy, bent over the baby stroller and lifted Agnes into her arms. Her gentle hands cradled the soft fuzzy head, trying to soothe the baby's temper.

'You brought her here.'

Lizzy turned around and watched as several emotions flitted across Red's face. He swallowed hard and stepped forward, his hand reaching out to touch the baby girl. Lizzy swallowed hard as Red took her over into his strong arms. He had held Agnes before but now he finally knew she was his.

'I have a daughter?' Red stammered, still not believing it.

Lizzy nodded her head, unaware of the tears that slipped down her cheeks. The past year had been hell. She'd had no choice other than to leave Reddington. Fake her death so that their daughter would be safe. Luckily they had been reunited and now he finally learned he had a daughter. Lizzy couldn't help but smile. Donald had been right and she was glad Red finally knew the truth.

'Let's take her inside…she can sleep in your bed.' Lizzy whispered as she looked down on Agnes. She was laying in Red's arms, falling asleep again, her blue/grey eyes, so similar to Red's, slowly closing again.

'Thanks Baz…for watching her,' Lizzy whispered to Reddington's guard before she quietly closed the front door.

When the bedroom door opened behind him, Red felt Lizzy was watching him. He felt the power of her gaze and waited for her to approach. Her steps were muffled against the thick rugs spread across the wooden floor but he heard her anyway. She stopped directly behind him, and he could have sworn he felt the heat of her body.

'Thanks for telling me,' Red said, and though his voice was quiet, there seemed to be a hint of anger in his tone.

'Are you angry with me?' Lizzy's voice was quiet too and Red could hear worry in it. He turned around and looked at her.

'Why should I be angry with you?' he asked. Lizzy couldn't look him in the eye and lowered her lashes.

'No, I'm not angry. I'm overwhelmed…that's the right word.'

Lizzy lifted her eyes and looked at Red then she suddenly stepped forward and embraced Red. Surprised about her reaction, Red put his arms around her and rested his cheek against her hair. He let his fingers caress Lizzy's back while he listened to her breathing.

'I never meant to hurt you Red,' Lizzy suddenly whispered against his chest. Red blinked, but continued to caress her.

'I know,' he whispered, and he could feel her smiling.

'Thank you.' She mumbled, hugging Red tighter.

Red had no idea how long they had been standing together in his living room but he knew that he just wished for time to stand still – that he could stand here with Lizzy in his arms forever. Even so, he sighed and lifted his head from her hair to look down on her. Reluctantly, Lizzy lifted her head from his chest and met Red's gaze.

'We have to talk about this!'

Lizzy nodded, suddenly unable to speak for the emotion in her throat. She briefly squeezed her eyes shut and then drew in a deep breath, 'I'm afraid of what the future may hold for us.

'I won't ever let anything happen to you or Agnes,' Red said determinedly.

'I know,' Lizzy whispered.

Red almost flinched when Lizzy reached out and tenderly touched his face. Her fingertips stroked along his jaw and his chin. Red closed his eyes, unable to help himself as his senses raced to memorize the softness of Lizzy's touch. It took all his willpower to not catch her hand and place a kiss or two in her palm.

'No matter what happens, we'll always be a part of each other's lives now,' Lizzy whispered.

'Yes…but no one can ever know Agnes is my daughter,' Red hurried to say. 'I've lost one daughter and that nearly destroyed me.'

Tears filled Lizzy's eyes and she looked away from Red. Her throat closed and her heart ached at his words. He spoke the truth and she knew it. But that didn't make the pain or guilt any less. Having Red voice out loud what she knew to be true in her heart felt like a slap in her face.

'I know,' Lizzy whispered. 'But Red, you have to know…I'm sorry about a lot of things I did in my life but having your baby wasn't one of them. She is the best thing that ever happened to me!'

Red started pacing around the room and Lizzy couldn't help but smile; Red suddenly seemed a changed man.

'You have given me a reason to hang onto life…I'm a dad again.' He walked back to Lizzy and hugged her real tight. 'You gave me a daughter!' He suddenly leaned back and looked at Lizzy, 'One question…did you tell Mr. Kaplan about Agnes and me?'

Lizzy swallowed hard and then nodded, 'Mr. Kaplan, Ressler and Tom are the only three people that know you are Agnes' father.'

'Donald?' Red frowned.

Lizzy grimaced, 'Yes. He told me, he took one good look at Agnes and knew. Besides, Ressler was the one who urged me to tell you.' Lizzy halted, 'And…he was right. I should have told you much sooner.'

Red took a deep breath, 'Remind me, I have to thank him for that. Well, Mr. Kaplan is not a problem anymore and I know Donald will never betray your trust, but what about Tom?'

Lizzy reached for Red's hand and held on tight, 'Red…Tom's gone. He went to New York to be with Scotty Hargrave and I don't expect him to return. I've told him earlier tonight, I would tell you about Agnes. You must know…Tom and I haven't really been together. We were playing house to keep up appearances.'

'Is that so?' Red moved closer until his face was close to Lizzy's. She saw something in his eyes she couldn't quite decipher. His lips were so near, she thought for a moment he was going to kiss her – and for one brief, insane moment, she wanted him to do just that – but instead, Red whispered in her ear. 'Maybe you should go home with Agnes. It's getting late. We'll talk more about it tomorrow.'

For a moment, Lizzy closed her eyes and did nothing. A moment later, she took a deep breath and blinked at Red, obeying without question. For a long moment, Red looked at Lizzy while she gathered her and Agnes' things then he stepped forward and moved as close to her as he could without touching her, leaving only a half inch of space between them. Using his thumb, he tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes, 'I don't want you to go Lizzy but you have to. I'm afraid of what I'll do to you if I let you stay,' Red said slowly in his rich soothing voice and then she realized; he wanted her gone because he was afraid. Afraid of what? Getting too close? Finding out that their feelings for each other were exactly what they thought they were?

She breathed a sigh of relief and shook her head. Then she went up on tiptoe and kissed Red's cheek. 'I know what you mean…I guess I feel the same way.'

Red smiled. 'Go…before I change my mind.'

'Yes.' Lizzy kissed his other cheek. 'I'll give you some space. For now.'

It was nearly midnight when she left with Agnes, giving Red one last hug.

When he was alone, he sent one quick e-mail to Marvin Gerard and then hit the lights. Sleep was the best decision but Red was far from being tired. He had learned he had a daughter and that was the best feeling in the whole wide world.

 **To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Jon Bokenkamp & NBC; all rights reserved . This fanfic is a work of fiction. It details my own imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental._

Chapter 3

Red sat in the waiting area of the DMV, his fingers interlocked, one forefinger impatiently tapping the back of his other hand. He was watching a young man, who'd made a point of not sitting at all, choosing instead to pace up and down, pausing now and then to study a leaflet, look at a poster or press all the buttons on the drinks vending machines even though, it seemed he had no money. Red annoyingly watched the young man as he scuffed the toes of his sneakers deliberately against a chair and right about when he was thinking of shooting him, he was called inside.

' _NEXT!'_

'Red, what the hell are you doing here? Last time I saw you, the Grim reaper was staring at you!' Glenn said with noticeable concern in his voice. Red smiled, took off his Fedora and pointed to a chair opposite Glenn.

'May I sit down?'

'Look Red,' Glenn said, 'I'm a busy man.'

Reddington sat down without permission, putting his hat on his knee, 'I need you to find Dembé. Supposedly, he was the one that poisoned me.'

Glenn's hands stopped fidgeting with some papers on his desk, while his eyes narrowed, 'With everything that has been happening to you lately, I'm afraid, you'll have a war on our hands soon.' Glenn stated softly.

Red shrugged, 'I'm afraid you're right but first I need to find Dembé. I mean sabotaging my business is one thing but trying to kill me—.' Red slow shook his head.

Glenn shot Red a weary glare, 'Are you certain it was Dembé?'

Red shook his head, 'No I'm not and that is why I need to find him as soon as possible.'

'Red…' Glenn leaned forward towards him. 'Some of your associates have already lost their lives. Maybe it would be better if you let things slide. I don't want you—'Glenn paused, briefly closing his eyes, '…to die!'

'Please Glenn. If anyone can find him, it's you!'

Glenn stared at Red, wavering on the edge of a decision. Finally, he gave Red a slow reluctant nod. 'All right, I'll help you find him. But when I do, you have to promise me, you'll talk to him first.'

Red nodded and got up, putting his Fedora on his head and leaving the DMV building.

In her office, Elizabeth was sitting behind her desk when she heard the elevator doors open. When she looked up, she saw Reddington enter the Post Office, his eyes quickly scanning the area. She could tell he was looking for her and each of his steps towards her office made her heart pound faster. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she got out from behind her desk to greet him but when she stood in the doorway; she saw Aram had approached Reddington. The two men were talking animatedly but stopped when Elizabeth came nearer.

'Is there news?' she asked. 'News on Dembé?'

'No, the investigation is still ongoing,' Red said. 'Aram, would you please excuse us? I need to talk to Lizzy.'

'Of course.' Aram nodded and Red took Elizabeth's elbow, guiding her back into her office, closing the door so they had some privacy. Inside her office, Red turned Lizzy to face him. He was smiling and lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair from her face. 'Did you sleep well last night?'

'I did. Thank you, the best in…well…ages. Peculiar what a clean conscious can do to your night rest,' she smiled.

'Excellent. The reason why I'm here? Lizzy, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?'

She nodded. 'Er…that would be lovely.'

'Fine. I'll pick you up around seven. If you don't have a babysitter for Agnes, I can always ask Baz? He did an amazing job last night watching Agnes.'

Lizzy chuckled amusingly, 'No, that'll be fine…thanks.'

Their eyes met briefly but Lizzy couldn't read Red's expression. _What was he thinking?_ Lizzy opened her mouth but no words came out.

'See you tonight then.' Red gave her a last smile, turned and walked back to the elevator, leaving Lizzy a bit confused behind. In fact, she was surprised at the intensity of disappointment she felt when she realized Red wasn't staying. Inwardly, she groaned because she had no clue what Red's intentions to have dinner were about; did he want to discuss Agnes' future or had he planned a romantic dinner?

The rest of the day was filled with boring FBI-stuff and by the time, it was five p.m. Lizzy was glad her workday had finished.

When she arrived at her apartment, she was greeted at the door by Hudson and Lizzy paused for a moment to pet the dog before she continued to the kitchen where she ran into the nanny holding Agnes. The eight-month-old fussed and whimpered and the nanny smiled at her. 'Someone wants her mommy,' she said while she handed the baby off to Elizabeth.

'So how was your day sweet pea,' Lizzy cooed at the baby.

The nanny smiled, 'Someone took two long naps, during which I'm sure she had a significant grow spurt!' Lizzy smiled tenderly at the baby girl. 'Way to go sweet pea…getting bigger is your job!'

'Hope you don't mind staying the evening?' Lizzy asked.

'Oh, no problem,' the nanny hurried to say. 'I had no plans and I can sure use the time to study! Is it all right if I step outside to get something to eat?'

'Sure and again…thank you!' Lizzy said while she handed the nanny some money. 'Here…dinner's on me!'

'Thanks…are back in an hour or so!'

…

'So, mommy is going to have dinner with your dad,' Lizzy said to Agnes as she fed her dinner in her high chair.

'Aaah. Baah.' Agnes smacked her little hands on the tray.

Lizzy had learned by now how to work around around flailing arms and grabby fingers, and didn't miss an inch shovelling in the next scoop of baby food. 'I knew you'd like that too!' she smiled.

Agnes cocked her head and batted her long curly lashes at Lizzy which made her laugh. She spooned in the last of the creamed carrots when the doorbell suddenly rang. Lizzy smiled and rolled her eyes thinking the nanny had forgotten her key.

'Aaah. Baah.'

She quickly wiped Agnes' mouth, scooped her out of her high chair and went to answer the door.

'Did you forget your—?'

'I hope you don't mind me being early?' Red said apologetic while he lifted his hand to caress Agnes' cheek.

'Er…not at all. Please come in!' Lizzy opened the door wide open to let him step inside. Inside the living room, Lizzy pointed to the sofa which looked comfortable with big cushions.

'Can I get you anything, tea, coffee?'

Red moved to the sofa and sat down. 'No…I'm fine. Thank you!'

Lizzy glanced at Red, wondering if she could ask him to watch Agnes. As if he had read her mind, she saw him reach out his arms.

'Would you mind watching her for a few minutes while I take a quick shower?'

'Not at all,' Red said, shaking his head, taking Agnes over from Lizzy. 'Just take your time. Agnes and I will do just fine!'

…

Lizzy entered the bathroom and waited for the shower to fill with steam before she undressed. She stepped into the shower and allowed the hot water to cascade over her skin. She stood there for a moment enjoying the warmth of the water before she quickly washed her hair and rinsed, turning off the faucet. She grabbed a towel as she stepped out of the shower, quickly drying off and walking back to her bedroom. She tossed a pair of black bra and panties on her bed as she walked toward her closet to grab a little black dress with a V-shaped neckline which showed off her curves without being overly sexy. _Make up_ , she instructed herself, and set about applying a light blush, a touch of mascara and a pale lip gloss. Her hair was still wet and looking slightly wild so she gathered it up to secure it in a loose knot at the nape of her neck. That'll have to do; she eyed herself in the mirror. Now she was ready, she felt a little nervous. She took a deep breath and headed back to the living room where she was greeted by Red and a giggling baby.

'You look very nice,' Red said softly, and his eyes took on a warm, appreciative hue that let her know he meant it. For a moment, Lizzy felt as if she was going to blush but Agnes helped her past her awkwardness when she reached out her little arms toward Lizzy.

'Baah…naah!'

I've booked us a reservation at a nice little Chinese restaurant. They're the only restaurant I've found in Washington that comes close to being in China as possible,' Red said, as if he'd been to China a thousand times before.

'Sounds nice,' Lizzy smiled.

When they arrived at the restaurant they were greeted by the head waiter, 'Your usual table, Sir?'

Red nodded and they followed the waiter as he led them through the tables to a secluded booth, where a chair was pulled out for Lizzy and she sat down. She looked around admiringly.

'It's very nice here,' Lizzy smiled, shaking out her crisp white napkin, placing it over her knees. 'Do you come here often?'

Red smiled, 'Quite a bit…why?'

Lizzy shrugged her shoulders, 'Just asking.'

When their black-coated server brought the menu, it was in Chinese.

'I'm afraid you'll have to translate,' she said to Red. He smiled amusingly over the fold of his menu. 'Don't worry. Chinese menus confuse even the Chinese. The waiter will love explaining everything to you. And if you let him guide you, you won't regret it. In China cooking is an art form. Their chefs are like Gods, like our rock stars in America!'

Lizzy smiled and felt herself relaxing. A few minutes later their waiter approached with two cups and a saucer. Lizzy's eyes grew big. 'Er…I'm not sure—'

'Try it…it's delicious,' Red assured her. '…And they say, it's good for your love life!'

'I don't have a love life,' Lizzy said, sounding a bit irritated.

'I did not mean to offend you Lizzy…I'm sorry.'

It was said so simply, Lizzy immediately forgot her anger. Red leaned backwards and began to talk in Chinese to two older Chinese men. Lizzy watched him. Red was courteous and friendly and she could have sworn he was being completely sincere. At least, if she hadn't known about him what she in fact did know; that he was one of the largest criminals in the world.

Their food arrived a few minutes later and Red was of course good with chopsticks. Lizzy managed somehow. The food was delicious and the chicken had that indefinable sweet flavour which the sauces gave it and the almonds were toasted to perfection.

When they were finished eating, Red moved slightly towards her. 'Would you like something else?' he asked.

'I'd like another cup of that delicious tea,' Lizzy said. Red smiled, ordered it and it arrived with a plate of tiny biscuits.

'Chinese fortune cookies,' Red said.

Lizzy nodded. She picked one from the plate, held it above her tea and said, '…Why did you ask me to dinner?'

Calmly she opened the cookie and put it into her mouth, reading the message that was inside.

 _Don't be afraid to smile. You never know who's falling in love with it!_

Red chuckled. 'That's true!

'Well, the reason why we had dinner is to tell you that I've had an appointment with Marvin Gerard. I've made sure that you and Agnes are well provided for in case of my timely demise!'

Lizzy shook her head and she stared at Red, her eyes filing with a silent sadness, 'Red…I'm not interested in your money and it's certainly not the reason why I told you Agnes is yours.'

Red hastily reached across the table and grabbed Lizzy's hand. 'Oh God…don't get me wrong. I know that's not the reason. Lizzy, this is just a formality. With everything that has been happening to me lately, I thought it would be good to take precautions. I'm already sorry I told you.'

Neither of them spoke for a long time. They just kept staring at each other, and then Lizzy said softly. 'You are not going to die…not for a long time because I want Agnes to know her father…and,' she leaned closer to Red, '…there is something special going on between us and I want to explore what that is!'

An amusing smile curved Red's lips and he took hold of Lizzy's hand, raising it to his lips, laying a soft kiss on her knuckles, 'I hope that's a promise!'

The drive home was all too short but when they arrived at Lizzy's apartment, Red's inner gentleman surfaced as always as he offered to walk her up to her front door.

'Thanks. But there's no need.' Lizzy got out and Red waited in the driveway, the engine running, to watch over Lizzy until she let herself in. She surprised him though by going around the front of the car to his front window. She softly rapped the glass with her knuckles. Red pushed the button and the window slid down.

'I had a wonderful evening,' Lizzy said softly. 'I hope we can do this again some time.'

And then she leaned in the window and kissed Red. Her lips were cool at first but they got hot real fast. So did Red's while he kissed Lizzy back.

When they ended the kiss, Red got a tender smile and a whispered, 'Good night' from Lizzy.

Smiling he answered, 'Sweet dreams sweetheart!'


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Jon Bokenkamp & NBC; all rights reserved . This fanfic is a work of fiction. It details my own imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental._

Chapter 4

After coming home, Lizzy paid the babysitter and locked the front door after she left. After finishing her nightly routine of checking the windows and double-checking the lock on the door, Lizzy went quietly into the nursery to check in on Agnes. She kissed the baby's fuzzy head, carefully tucked the comforter under her little chin and whispered. 'Sweet dreams!'

It wasn't until Lizzy got to her own bedroom that she began to replay the evening and Red's reaction to her unexpected kiss. He had gazed deeply into her eyes and Lizzy had recognized that look. It had been the same one as he'd moved deep into her that night they had conceived Agnes. Lizzy's cheeks suddenly felt warm as she replayed that night in her mind.

 _They had been out on the ocean for a little more than 12 hours when Red had opened the container doors, telling her about the North Star._

 _ **You are my way home.**_

 _Red had put down a blanket outside the container and they'd sat down together. The moon had shone brightly over the ocean and currents of ocean water had rippled against the bow of the freighter. Red had been – as always – a gifted storyteller. He'd told her about his favourite book and the band he'd been in for a little while when he was young. And about the peace he'd found at his parents' mountain cabin every summer. He had promised to take her there some day. Some of the stories had been familiar and some of them had been new. They'd talked for hours and hours and she had felt warm and full, glowing from the red wine, Red had served her. When she'd yawned, Red had suggested they'd go to bed but she had told him, she was too comfortable to move and that they should just sleep out on the blanket since it was a warm night. When she'd woken a few hours later, Red had been propped up on one elbow, watching her. She'd followed his gaze down and had blushed because her top had gaped slightly for her turned position on the blanket; giving Red a nice view of her cleavage and hints of the lace bra she'd wore. When she'd returned to look up at him, his eyes had been warm and inviting._

' _Lizzy, I'm—'_

 _The next breath Red had been up, heading back into the container. She had stared after him, trying to decipher what had just happened._

' _Red…please wait up!' She had blurted out. She just had to say something after the day and night they'd spent together. Red had just stood there watching her with a look that had made her stomach flutter. She had grabbed the blanket and the wine glasses and had stepped back inside the luxurious shipping container too._

' _Let me help you with that.'_

 _She remembered how her hands had shaken a little when Red had reached for the glasses; his warm hand curving around hers. He had taken the glasses from her hands, setting them on the counter. When he'd turned around, she had met his gaze. Red's pupils had been dilated and his breath had been shaky. His fingers had tipped up her chin as his mouth had slowly descended. Red's lips had parted on hers, and she'd given herself up to the feel of his mouth; the slide of his tongue against hers. The kiss had turned passionate on an instant and she had not been able to think anymore. She'd only wanted to touch Red and let him touch her. She had opened his vest and had pulled his shirt loose from his pants. Her fingers had found their way to the feel of his skin and Red's hands had found their own way under her top. Not for one second, had he released her mouth. It was as if they both had known that if they'd pause, reality would come crashing in. Red's fingertips had traced a path of fire beneath her shirt, making her skin tremble, anticipating his touch. Red's lips had trailed down her chin and his teeth had grazed the throbbing pulse in her neck. His tongue had found a spot on her neck that was as close to divinity as she'd ever come. She had absolutely no recollection of how their clothes had gotten off or how they'd ended up in the container's bedroom but next she'd remembered how she and Red had stared at each other for several long minutes. Red had kissed her mouth, her eyelids and the delicate hollow of her throat. He had kicked off the sheets and had put a hand under her hips, easily scooping her up against him, turning her so that she was lying on top of him. Her soft breasts had been resting on his hard muscular chest and her mound had been pressing against the full force of his arousal. Electric sparks had been traveling back and forth between their bodies, leaping from her skin into his, and then back again. It had felt so intimate, so sweet, so good! When she'd looked down on him, her heart had hammered in her chest. Red had touched her with sweet caresses but the hunger in his eyes had revealed so much more. As he had slowly entered her, their mouths had met in a deep, slow and sensual kiss. She had moaned at the bliss of his slow, long strokes and they'd been kissing intensely, stopping only to stare into each other's eyes before kissing again. It had been so real, so raw. Each push of Red had been a welcome stretch as her muscles had fought to accept him. She had pushed down her hips, forcing Red to go deeper but he had not let her take control. Red had set the pace; a slow push in, a gentle pull out. Each drive upward, he'd pressed deeper, taking her higher. They had moved together and Red had kept his gaze on hers and she had not been able to ignore the overwhelming blaze of love shining in his eyes and she knew her eyes had revealed the same. Red had gone slow as long as he could but he had not been able to hold off his need for release forever. She had moved with him, had been following his lead. Red fingers had tightened on hers, his hips rocking a little faster without looking away from her eyes. Her wet heat had surrounded his arousal and he'd driven into her again and again. Little breathy moans had slipped through her lips and she knew it had been driving him crazy. Her mouth had been hot and slick when she'd opened up for him, their tongues sliding and chasing. Red's hips had sped up, the need to climax rolling down his spine. Separating their mouths, she had placed her hands on his chest pushing herself upright, straddling him. Red had eagerly slid his hand between their joined bodies. She had bucked her hips into his touch when he'd found her hard knot of nerves. Moisture had coated his fingers and he'd swirled it around her sweet bundle which had pulsed beneath his fingers. Her body had stilled for a second and then she had exploded into an overwhelming orgasm. He'd had no choice but to follow her. Her sex had clamped around the length of his manhood and her shattering climax had milked him of his. He'd pumped into her, buried his arousal as deep as he could and had let go. Pleasure had burst through them both, wave after wave of ecstasy swamping them. Afterwards, Red's arms had shook and their hearts had raced simultaneously. She had leaned toward him, her mouth finding his again and she'd poured everything she had felt into that kiss. When she'd eased her mouth from his and had stared down into his eyes she had whispered._

' _No regrets.'_

' _Me neither sweetheart.'_

Lizzy squeezed her eyes shut because it was a damn shame, Red had blocked the experience from his memory but maybe after this night, they would get a second chance. Raising her palm to her lips to stifle a yawn, Lizzy's eyelids drooped slightly and within minutes she was fast asleep.

Within fifteen minutes, after dropping off Lizzy, Red drove his car into the underground parking lot below his apartment building, located just off Tuckerman lane at Bethesda. When he locked his car and headed toward the elevator bay, he absently touched his lips where the tender sensation of Lizzy's kiss still lingered. Within a minute, his mind wandered back to the lovely evening they'd shared. _Was there something there? Was it love?_ Red had to admit to himself that he felt drawn to Lizzy but that had always been the case. No wonder with the history they shared. By the time, Red pulled himself out of his thoughts; he realized he was standing in front of the elevator. He reached out to push the button when suddenly pain burst through his skull as if something had struck him from behind. He fell to his knees and tried to cry out, but a second blow silenced him up, leaving only a gasp.

There was a strange bloody smell in the air when Red regained consciousness. His head hurt like hell and he had no idea where he was. He could feel that his arms were hanging above his head. When he tried to pull them down he found out that he couldn't. He tried to open his eyes, but they were tight shut. It almost took him five minutes to regain his composure and then he suddenly realized where he was. He was in an old slaughter house, chained to the ceiling. As soon as he opened his eyes, he wished he hadn't. The urge to retch was overwhelming and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He did his best not to get the contents of his stomach on himself, but he miserably failed.

The door to the slaughter house abruptly opened with the sound of an unlatching bolt and Red couldn't believe his eyes when he recognized the man standing in front of him.

'I thought that you would still be unconscious…I'm sorry Raymond, I never meant to hit you that hard.'

Red said nothing. Dembé's tone made it clear, he felt remorse. Red felt a sting at the corners of his eyes and thought glumly back at the time when he and Dembé had been sort of an illicit duo. They hadn't been just two mismatched people who'd hooked up together when it had been convenient; they had a bond…like brothers. Now Red felt foolish in his delusion. The man standing in front of him had betrayed him in the worst possible way by poisoning him.

'Do you accept my apology, Raymond?' Dembé pressed.

Red sighed. 'Sure but first you have to tell me…what is the meaning of all this Dembé? Is it true that you of all people are accountable for sabotaging my business? That would be an infernal insult and sign of disrespect, and if—'

Red heard a strange noise behind Dembé but it was too dark inside the slaughter house to recognize the person who was approaching.

'Don't blame Dembé, Raymond. It was _me_ who sabotaged your business,' a familiar voice said.

Red knew he'd passed out again when he found himself on his back on the tiled floor, staring up at the exposed duct work and pipes snaking across the slaughter house's ceiling. His handcuffs had been removed. It took every ounce of strength he could muster to move, but then he slowly sat up. He turned his head over to the right where Dembé was kneeling next to him on the floor, looking kind of worried. When he turned his head to the left he squint his eyes to clear his vision. There was a frail, older woman standing in front of him and when Red looked at her, it was as if blinders had been lifted off his eyes.

'K…Kate?'

'Hello dear.'

Red couldn't believe his eyes. Trying his best not to stare at Mr. Kaplan, he miserably failed. The long stare created an awkward silence between them, but he just couldn't believe whom he was seeing. Red attempted to stand up but stumbled. Dembé's strong arms grabbed him under his armpits though and pushed him to his feet. Red looked at Dembé and gave him a quick nod.

'Thank you.'

Red closed his eyes and stood there for a while. Then he inhaled deeply and said, 'An old friend always used to say that revenge is a dish which is best served cold. He lived by that motto every day! If someone embarrassed him in front of a girl, he would embarrass that person in front of the whole school. If someone accidently scratched his car walking through a parking lot; he would accidently smash that person's car windows. He lived his entire life, eye for an eye. Years later, though, vengeance got the best of him. When a passenger in his car left a burn hole in his seat from a cigarette, he torched the man's house. While he sat in prison for arson, he had plenty of time to think about revenge. He understood that it got him nowhere in his life but to a dead end. A wise man does not return an act of evil against another. He simply turns the other cheek.'

Red stepped forward with remorse and tears in his eyes. He grabbed Kate's hands, 'I can never make up for what I did to you but can you find it in your heart to forgive me?'

Mr. Kaplan pursed her lips together in thoughtful consideration. 'You shot me like a dog Raymond and left me to rot in the woods.'

'I am so sorry.' Red said with intense emotion. 'I was so mad at you for helping Lizzy to get away from me, I couldn't think straight. Now, I know why you helped her fake her death. It was not to get her away from me. You did it to protect my daughter…Agnes!'

Dembé's head shot up, trying to digest what he'd just heard. 'Agnes is your…daughter?' Red and Kate exchanged glances and Red nodded. 'Yes, Agnes is mine! When Lizzy told me, she was pregnant, I assumed the baby was Tom's because I couldn't recall making love to her but apparently we did…and Agnes is a result of that fornication.' Dembé's eyes lit up and a broad smile appeared on his face. 'But that is great news! You have a daughter, Raymond.'

In a swift movement, Dembé pushed Red behind him, blocking him from Mr. Kaplan's view. 'Please Kate put the gun down. Raymond is sorry…he wants to make amends! You cannot kill him, not after what you have just heard!'

'She knows,' Red said softly.

Dembé looked directly in Kate's eyes. 'Don't do this Kate. You're better than this. You know this isn't right,' Dembé said softly.

Suddenly, the sound of sirens echoed through the old slaughter house and Dembé quickly glanced over in the direction of the sirens. As he turned his head, everything happened as if in slow motion. Kate lifted the gun and pulled the trigger. The bullet missed Red but Dembé stumbled back after being hit in the left shoulder.

'Put the gun down, Mr. Kaplan,' Liz yelled while she came running into the slaughter house, followed by Donald Ressler.

'He does not deserve to live,' Mr. Kaplan said, '…not after what he did to me!'

'Kate…I'm sorry,' Red said softly.

'Please Mr. Kaplan, put the gun down,' Lizzy pleaded again.

Kate took one step forward.

'Don't come closer,' Ressler yelled.

'Mr. Kaplan put the gun down, right now,' Lizzy yelled.

Kate slowly raised her arm.

 _BANG! BANG_!

Lizzy had pulled the trigger and fired. She shot Mr. Kaplan twice; one in the shoulder and one in the chest. The old woman fell down. Red immediately fell to his knees and applied pressure to the chest wound, 'Get an ambulance in here!'

'Her lung has been punctured,' Ressler said while he hurried to kneel down next to Red. 'Turn her onto her side before she drowns in her own blood.'

Red looked down on Kate. When their eyes met, she tried to speak, 'R…Raymond…,' she whispered.

'Please Kate, don't try to talk…'

Red gently turned Mr. Kaplan on her side, resting her head on his leg while he gently caressed her face. Blood gushed from her shoulder and a small stream dripped from the corner of her mouth.

Car doors opened and shut behind them and voices started talking. Red paid them no mind.

Kate shivered, 'I…I'm cold.'

'I know,' Red whispered softly, cradling Kate's head against his body in hopes of giving her some warmth and comfort. Kate smiled and craned her head to look into his eyes, a move that caused her pain.

'T…take care of them…Liz…and Agnes,' she whispered.

'I will!' Red bit his lip to hold back tears, then he let out a ragged breath and kissed Kate's forehead. Again, she shivered; a short and violent convulsion and then she blew out her last breath. An enormous sadness fell over Red as he closed Mr. Kaplan's sightless eyes and he knew it would take a long time to mourn her death.

Lizzy suddenly appeared behind him and gently touched his shoulder as he sat motionless, still holding Kate's lifeless body. 'Is she…?'

'Yeah,' was all he could bring out.

'Red, I'm so sorry.'

'You're not to blame…I am!' Red answered somewhat coldly.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Jon Bokenkamp & NBC; all rights reserved . This fanfic is a work of fiction. It details my own imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental._

Chapter 5

Donald Ressler slowly walked around the abandoned slaughter house. In the meantime, it had become a hive of activity. Fingerprint specialists were dusting with their brushes while other FBI-agents were taking pictures. Undertakers were standing by to take Mr. Kaplan's body to the FBI-morgue. Lizzy was kneeling next to Mr. Kaplan, looking carefully at the lifeless body. Suddenly, she took a pair of tweezers out of her purse. Hovering behind her, Samar looked over her shoulder.

'What have you got?'

Lizzy ignored Samar and retrieved a small piece of paper from Mr. Kaplan's pocket. It was folded in half. She flipped it over and took a deep breath. She then stood up, walked back to Reddington, who'd been sitting quietly in a corner and handed him the piece of paper.

'It's a letter from Mr. Kaplan…it's addressed to you,' she said softly.

Red looked up with a questioning look, eyebrows raised and when their eyes met, Lizzy was overwhelmed by the profound sadness in his gaze. He took the letter from her and without paying attention to its contents; he stuffed it in his pants pocket. When Lizzy stood there, less than an arm's length away from him, she wanted to draw him into her arms and comfort him but when Red spoke; his tone sounded cold and flat. 'Thank you Elizabeth. That was very thoughtful. Could you now please find an officer to take me home?'

'I will give you a ride,' Lizzy offered quickly.

'That's not necessary. It's out of your way.'

'That's alright, I don't mind.' Lizzy reached out to help him up but Red ignored her outstretched hand, trying to help himself up. Almost immediately, he stumbled awkwardly because his muscles had gotten sore and stiff from being chained to the ceiling. He would have fallen, if Lizzy had not supported him. A silent pause stretched between them, then Red nodded. Slowly, taking him by the elbow, Lizzy guided Red outside and drove away from the abandoned slaughterhouse. Silence continued to fill the space on their ride to his apartment.

Once inside, Red threw his coat off and walked to the window. With his arms folded across his chest, he stared outside.

'Please say something,' Lizzy said pleadingly while her eyes examined Red's multiple cuts and bruises. He turned around.

'I don't feel like talking, Elizabeth.' Red sounded defensive.

Without paying further attention to her, he headed straight into his bedroom. He stripped off his smudged dress shirt and took off his shoes, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Lizzy followed him into the bedroom, kneeled down in front of him and took his hands into her own.

'Red…I'm so sorry…but she would have shot you. I could not let that happen. I care too much about you!'

'Don't apologize for what happened. It's not your fault, she'd dead. It's mine,' Red said softly. 'It's only natural that what I did to Kate, came back to bite me.'

Lizzy looked at Red, her eyes skimming his cheeks, the line of his strong chin. 'I don't want to leave you alone tonight,' she whispered, '…with Dembé in the hospital. I'll call my babysitter, I won't be home'.

'Lizzy, I have been alone…for a really long time.' Red closed his eyes and sighed deeply. _Tired. God, he was so tired_.

'Well…I'm staying anyway.' Lizzy said stubbornly.

When Red drew her into his arms, Lizzy was too startled to respond. She closed her eyes as her head rested against his chest. She felt his lips come to rest on the top of her head while his arms wrapped around her back, closing her in. Red held onto her, for what seemed like ages. At some point, his arms dropped to Lizzy's waist, folding around to the small of her back to complete the embrace.

A small eternity passed in those moments; a hundred unspoken words. Lizzy moved first, just enough to move one hand up to Red's neck. She made a noise in her throat, drawing his attention to her. When she softly kissed him, it felt natural. Minutes before, Red had felt drained; empty; fatigued. The simple press of Lizzy's lips to his brought him back to life. Their kiss was soft…tender. Red lifted his mouth from Lizzy's, easing back just slightly so their mouths were no longer meshed but they still shared a breath. He waited until she opened her eyes and fused her gaze to his. Grazing the tip of his thumb over her cheek, he whispered, 'I'm really in need of a shower. Give me half an hour?'

Lizzy nodded slowly, unable to speak. Red began to step away, then stopped, framing her face in his hands. Eyes closed, brows drawn together, he kissed her forehead.

'I don't know what I would do without you…and Agnes.'

When Red started to undress inside his bathroom, he remembered Kate's letter and pulled it from his pocket pants. He sat down on the toilet seat and read the scrap of paper.

Dear Raymond,

It's not easy for me to write this letter but I must explain why I did what I did. To the world, you are Raymond 'Red' Reddington; the concierge of crime. To me, you were the son I never had. Can you imagine how it hurt when you decided my life had to end because I helped Elizabeth fake her death? I did it because Agnes is YOUR daughter, Raymond. Do you understand now why I felt it necessary to help her instead of being loyal to you? Wouldn't you have wanted me to keep your daughter save?

If you read this letter, I'm dead. Don't mourn me but remember me how I was when I was with Anny. She was the love of my life. Now, we're back together again!

Raymond, I honestly never meant to hurt you. You know I had a metal plate in my head. When you pulled the trigger on me that fatal afternoon, you shot me in the face. My wound healed but the bullet caused the metal plate in my head to shift; inoperable. Doctors told me I would die; it would only be a matter of time. Do you understand why I had to die?

Raymond, I have no regrets having been your cleaner. All your secrets will be buried with me.

Have a nice life dearie and please take care of Elizabeth and sweet baby Agnes. She has your eyes you know!

With all my love,

Kate Kaplan

P.S. Don't blame Dembé. He figured out the whiskey bottle came from me.

A stricken look froze Red's features while he read Kate's letter…over and over. Then he slowly folded it and placed it on the sink while tears welled up in his eyes. Absently, he looked up at the mirror while a lone tear ran down his cheek. Standing up with a sigh, he undressed and stepped inside the shower stall, turning on the faucet. Red placed his hands against the tile wall, arching his back, letting hot water cascade over his sore shoulders.

Inside the bedroom, Lizzy's mind whirled, her heart a tumult of emotions as her thoughts returned to killing Mr. Kaplan. She tried to convince herself that if she had not shot her, she would have killed Red. Faced with the fact she could lose him had been unbearable. She now truly realized she loved Red. She couldn't imagine her life without him.

Lizzy heard the shower come on. Pushing up out of the chair, she headed toward the bathroom. She shed her clothes outside the door then eased inside. Steam rose in clouds, parting for her as she opened the shower door and stepped inside. Red, who had his hands braced on the wall, turned toward her just as she slid her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his bare chest. Red's eyes were wide as he gazed at Lizzy. She smiled up at him, holding his gaze as she kissed the hollow between his neck and his collarbone.

'Er…Lizzy?'

'Red…'

'What are you doing?'

'What does it look like I'm doing?'

'I'm taking a shower!'

'I know but I have something to say to you.'

'You could have said it through the shower door.'

'No, I want you to know that—'

'What?'

Silence stretched as Lizzy tried to put into words what was in her heart, 'You're not to blame for what happened to Mr. Kaplan.'

'Yes, I am…I'm like you often told me…a monster!'

'No you're not.'

Lizzy blinked back tears. ' _I love you!_ '

Red pressed his lips together, as if holding back a surge of emotion after hearing those words. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, tenderly sweeping his tongue into her mouth. Lizzy tasted a hint of mint and while Red's spicy scent enveloped her, she closed her eyes. He pulled her closer and they both shivered. Lizzy's body against his felt sensational, but Red wanted more. He wanted to sink into her body and forget the past twenty-four hours had ever happened.

Lying down in Red's bed after drying off, the cool sheets crisp against her warm naked skin, Lizzy reached out to take Red's hands into hers and draw him onto the bed with her. 'Come here…,' she said as she looked into his smouldering eyes, seeing in them all that she had ever hoped to see in them. 'I want you to make love to me.'

Without saying a word, Red sat down on the bed and turned his back to Lizzy, showing her his burn scars. He cringed when he heard her gasp in shock.

'You're burned too?'

'Yes.'

'Did…did…you save me back then?'

'Yes.'

Raising her hand, Lizzy carefully traced it along the scars in a gentle caress. A muscle in Red's jaw twitched.

'I hope that one day, you'll be able to tell me what happened that night…but now—.' Lizzy leaned closer and pressed her lips in a butterfly kiss against one the scars, strongly feeling the urge to soothe his wounds from so long ago. The pulse in Red's neck quickened but he did not move. Lizzy placed another kiss, then another and another, working her way along his scarred back. Red suddenly flinched and moaned as if in pain, and Lizzy pulled back startled.

'Do they still hurt?'

Red's lips curved for a moment. 'No, sweetheart,' he whispered hoarsely, 'I'm not in pain…at least not from my scars.'

He turned around and gathered Lizzy into his arms, protectively cradling her against his chest, taking in a deep breath.

'Lizzy…,' Red began, as he looked her. 'I love you too. I've never felt love for a woman like this before.'

He angled his jaw and started kissing her as if his life depended on it. As if he could kiss her forever. And then, when she started making little moaning sounds in the back of her throat, that were more precious to Red than all the treasures in his possession, he stretched out above her, pressing her even deeper into the mattress. In a sudden move, Red lifted himself slightly and began a sensual crawl down her body, leaving a trail of wet heat by his mouth; the swell of her breasts receiving particular attention. When he reached the sweet spot between her legs, he wrung a strangled moan from Lizzy. Fire coursed through her body. Her chest heaved like the rolling ocean as the sweet sensation stole most of her rational thought away. She bit her lip as she arched her back. Release was so close.

And then like that, Red stopped and looked up. Lizzy's body almost imploded from the loss of his mouth. But his tender smile told her the best was yet to come. Wickedly, Red licked his lips. 'Never tasted anything so sweet…'

Lizzy gave a smile that died off when Red nudged her legs apart and settled between them. A jolt of eager awareness flashed through her. She swallowed hard and slid her hands to his shoulders, the muscles there as solid as the man himself. Red gazed at her, seeming to see straight to her soul. This time he would make up to her for the first time. This time, he would remember making love to her, kissing her and feeling her body surrounding his. He would remember every single detail about it. Perhaps even for a lifetime.

Red slowly brought the head of his erection to her opening. His arms shook, but he made no move to join their bodies. His gaze captured Lizzy's in a way that nothing physical could. Swallowing at the tight feeling in her throat, Lizzy nodded and something in Red appeared to relax. He released a ragged breath and slowly, inch by inch, he guided himself into Lizzy. She gasped at the sensation of being filled by him for the second time in her life. It was even better than the first time. As Red started to thrust shallowly, renewed warmth spread through Lizzy's belly. She moved her hips and Red groaned, 'God, sweetheart, you feel good.'

Soon, he quickened his pace and she picked up the rhythm, meeting him eagerly. Every once in a while, Red would lean down to press open-mouthed kisses on her mouth, neck or breasts. In the meantime, Lizzy's hands travelled down the length of Red's strong back, taking in how the muscles flexed under her fingertips. The sound of their breath and of skin on skin only heightened her arousal. She clasped her hands around his buttocks, feeling each powerful muscle, and flares of light coated her vision. Her climax rushed toward her and wouldn't be denied. Desire clenched the muscles of her core, winding tighter and tighter, until her orgasm finally exploded. Tiny waves of ecstasy pulsated through her, and white spots danced before her eyes. Red continued his relentless pumping then suddenly, his head reared back and he moaned loudly as release gripped him. Liquid heat coated Lizzy's insides and her arms went around him automatically. Red buried his face in her neck, never wanting to let go. They both did not speak. Her embrace was all he needed. The silence seemed sacred, and it was as if neither of them wanted to break it.

Their breathing slowed, and sleep drifted over Lizzy. But she had one last coherent thought; _she was in love with Red and she would love him forever…_


End file.
